Be very careful when you try to define GOD. Be aware that none of us has the ability to wrap our brains around the great I AM. For you or I to be able to define GOD would be to declare that we are capable of passing judgement on GOD. To say that "The god I follow, would never do 'x' ..." is to establish your own deity based upon your own set of beliefs, and when you do this you have actually established yourself as the creator -- not the creation. And furthermore, you're worshiping the thing you've created -- idolatry.
If you find yourself searching and feel that there's more out there and that you're lacking something, there is a simple solution. There is only one place to find GOD -- the Bible. Many people try to discredit the Bible by saying that it was written by men. That's true, but consider that an omniscient, omnipresent GOD would never allow a mistake in the one document that is intended to lead us to HIM. And in spite of mankind's unfortunate propensity for twisting things, the all-powerful GOD can still make the Bible perfect. The Bible, being the only resource for us to truly know GOD, would have to be perfect because GOD is not willing for any to perish. (2 Peter 3:9)
So, when you feel disillusioned, lonely, empty, discouraged, angry or powerless, pick up the Bible and read. Instead of searching for fulfillment in the things you do, or in approval from others, or by trying to define your own idea of god based upon what you read on the Internet (Mark 13:22) -- get to know the one true living GOD.
Don't let anyone else tell you who GOD is -- find out for yourself. (Jeremiah 29:13)
Establish a relationship with GOD and know HIM, but do not be deceived into trying to define HIM. (Exodus 3:14)
